Day 22

I responded to the email that the 26-year-old, non-emoticon-using (at least as far as I know) guy sent me (we'll call him Adam…because that is his name) answering the few questions he posed in his first email:

Adam: Do you live in east or west Aurora?
Sarah: Uhhh…well….if you...and then...What?
Sarah's actual answer: I live...excellent question. I actually just moved down here from Minnesota about 6 months ago and to be perfectly honest I STILL don't really know what's what. I live right next to Naperville - about 5 city blocks down from 59 - So...east Aurora? Yeah, we're going to go with east Aurora.

Adam: How long have you lived here?
Sarah: I already answered that above. (This was my actual answer. I had, in fact, already answered that question, and the answer was, in fact, located above this one.)

Adam: Do you ever go to downtown Naperville or do you just head down to the city?
Sarah: I hate the city and everyone in it.
Sarah's actual answer (even though the one above is closer to the truth): I actually rarely get down to the city - I hate the traffic and I actually have closer friends out here, so I tend to stay out this way. I go out in Naperville a lot, actually. Definitely more than Chicago. I like some of the bars around here - I love the Foundry actually. It's pretty close to my apartment and I'm a big beer drinker, so obviously the first thing I did when I moved here was buy one of their mugs...and then forget it at the bar that same night. So now I'm on mug #2...I've managed to hang out to it through several nights out, so I'm feeling pretty good about it.

Adam: I'm interested in learning more about you.
Sarah: THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU RESPONDED TO MY EMAIL?

I mean, I was witty if a little…uhh...well, stupid (I mean really, who doesn't know what part of Aurora they live in?) I was charming if a little booze-hound-sounding (perhaps I should have left out the part about getting a bit too "dizzy" (as my co-worker calls it) and leaving my giant mug at the bar…But that thing cost me like $15 of my hard-earned money and I think it's loss warrants a mention.) I was well-spoken if a touch heavy on the use of the word "actually" in paragraph #3. All in all I think it was a successful email.

And by successful I mean he hasn't responded.

I feel fat and insecure.

Disclaimer: I know that "technically" I should give him as much time to respond to me as it took me to respond to him…which would be…wait for it I need to check the time stamp on the email…carry the 1…5 days, but that's not my style. Things we have learned about Sarah in the past 24 hours: She hates being corrected, she is not patient and when she gets rejected by someone on an online dating service she quotes the country-singing Iranian princess from the amazing but ill-fated E! reality classic, " Love is in the Heir."

Oh Ann Claire. You always knew just what to say.