Day 30

I’m confused.

2 guys winked at me today (yay!) both were actually pretty cute (yay!) and neither used emoticons anywhere in their profiles (YAY!)

So one is 25 and I think I’ll definitely wink back, even though he made the classic their/there mistake in his profile which kind of bugs me. Not as much as emoticons, but still…I get the feeling that I’m being a bit too picky with these guys, so I’ve decided to try to be a little nicer…at least to their cyberfaces. I hope you understand that I am still going to rip them apart here in my little corner of cyber…space. Huh. Well that’s not at all a witty combo of the word “cyber” with some other word. Shoot.

Anyway, I’ll let you know how that goes.

The reason I am confused is because of the other guy:

1) He’s 22. My age range is 23-30. But that’s not actually what’s weird to me.
2) He is an atheist who doesn’t drink. (I guess this doesn’t really confuse me either; I just thought it was interesting.)
3) He lists his body type as “heavy set.” He is not at ALL heavy set. He is decidedly “about average” or possibly even “athletic and toned” though I can’t say for sure because all of his pictures involve him wearing a shirt. I don’t understand!
4) He spells European “Euripean” and stubborn “stuburn” yet he says he “just graduated from college.” Is that even possible?
5) In one of his pictures he is holding (I am not making this up) THE WORLD’S LARGEST MACHETE. Now, I don’t know if it is, in fact, the world’s largest machete. In all fairness, I could be making that part up. But from the looks of it, it measures about 1 ½ feet wide and like 4 feet long. It looks like an extremely sharp, extremely large cookie sheet on a stick. WHAT??
6) He’s only 4 inches taller than me, and I’m 5’2”. You do the math. (Seriously, you do it. When I tried to figure out how old someone was when they passed away today, I came up with 66, which is fine, except he was born in 1945 and died in 2007.)

I feel like maybe someone posted this profile as a joke. I mean, let’s look at the facts: 22, can’t spell, doesn’t understand what “heavy set” means, very, very tiny and posts pictures of himself wielding a giant knife? IT JUST DOESN’T ADD UP.

Like I said, I’m confused.