Day 15

Alright this is getting ridiculous. 3 guys have winked at me this week and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them was over the age of 30.

See, this is why I don't understand why this keeps happening to me - match.com makes trolling for cyber-ass really easy by lining up 25 different traits and comparing your preferences side-by-side to the person whose profile you're looking at. So, let's say I'm looking for a guy whose body type he would classify as "a few extra pounds" with brown eyes who likes wine tasting and considers tattoos a turn-on - match.com will tell me if he matches me on all those points, just like it will tell me if HE is looking for a girl who considers herself "about average" with blond hair, green eyes and a passion for Supertroopers and penguins.

Does that make sense?

Whatever that's not my point.

My point is that at the top of this list of 25 points that you can possible match on, at the very tippy top, is AGE. My preferred age range? 23-30.

And friends, 30 is an outer limit. A WAY outer limit.

Like, an I-was-just-trying-to-be-generous-and-not-limit-myself-to-jackass-frat-guys-just-out-of-college-type outer limit.

Yet here are these 33 year-olds and 35 year-olds winking at me like I'm the kind of recent college grad who would date a guy with an entire decade on me.

Let me clarify what kind of recent college grad I am:

I still secretly enjoy a hangover - not the feeling-like-death part but the eating-greasy-food-and-watching-old-episodes-of-Friends-on-VHS-that-were-made-while-I-was in-high-school-and-you-were-already-of-legal-drinking-age part.
I have a LOT of bad hip hop on my iPod and not one song by Air Supply or ZZ Top.
And while we're on the subject, I listen to my music on an iPod and not a Discman.
(Or for that matter, a WALKMAN.)
I have all my hair and I would prefer that my cyber date does too.
I'm still glory-dazing and since you keep winking at me, I'm going to go ahead and guess you must be, too.
I am still in the renting phase, not the buying-a-home-taking-on-a-mortgage phase.
Sometimes I dance around my apartment, and when I do, I'm not doing a dance that a choreographer taught me for my first wedding. Or my second.
I like MTV reality shows and that's okay because there are still people on them that are my age. Ever since Mark and Eric Nies officially retired from the challenges, you can no longer say the same.
I'M 23. YOU'RE 30-SOMETHING. YOU DO THE MATH.